when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
