forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
