How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
