3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
50% drunk capacity currently
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
