so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
