i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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