Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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