need another drink. this is the easiest way
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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