every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize