I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
