i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
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no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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