Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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