well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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