It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
