he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize