Say something about gay babies.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
