The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
