My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
