I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
