i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
