I hate all girls vehemently.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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