OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
why is half of my head shaved?
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