I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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