I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I puked a lego.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
