are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
