the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
