i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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