I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize