oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
