Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
