I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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