Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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