Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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