So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
