but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize