I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize