Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
