i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
