Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
