he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%