Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense

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  (313): We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense http://tfl.nu/elta
  Replies (3) Good night (1263) Bad night (539)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  um, yeah. i think it is.

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  (252): is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"? (513): um, yeah. i think it is. http://tfl.nu/omaw
  Replies (12) Good night (2486) Bad night (798)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?

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  (306): Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'? http://tfl.nu/gncd
  Replies (14) Good night (4858) Bad night (1092)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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  (773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0
  Replies (42) Good night (986) Bad night (6418)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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  (256): so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart. http://tfl.nu/u8db
  Replies (30) Good night (8053) Bad night (1121)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.

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  (406): The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been. http://tfl.nu/1jfg
  Replies (3) Good night (1247) Bad night (1667)
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  (631): View more from New York

  speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"

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  (631): speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist" http://tfl.nu/hn7i
  Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (465)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am

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  (703): The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am http://tfl.nu/d51l
  Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (673)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.

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  (206): I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart. http://tfl.nu/h3lf
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (342)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.

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  (+64): If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help. http://tfl.nu/n5gu
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (250)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"

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  (954): After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr" http://tfl.nu/5atv
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (214)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car

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  (302): I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car http://tfl.nu/rca8
  Replies (6) Good night (220) Bad night (750)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.

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  (+61): Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things. http://tfl.nu/ocj8
  Replies (4) Good night (531) Bad night (256)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Of course I have a pirate flag

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  (630): Of course I have a pirate flag http://tfl.nu/t3eo
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (216)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me

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  (607): Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me http://tfl.nu/qp3z
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (290)

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