Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

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  (270): There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal. http://tfl.nu/1sv3
  Replies (26) Good night (4004) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.

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  (518): im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine. http://tfl.nu/cj5c
  Replies (14) Good night (4603) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations

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  (540): Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations http://tfl.nu/sqlo
  Replies (17) Good night (2302) Bad night (4231)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE

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  (575): I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE http://tfl.nu/fcs3
  Replies (8) Good night (3929) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.

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  (336): You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/fpao
  Replies (4) Good night (1755) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

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  (619): I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome. http://tfl.nu/x3tk
  Replies (11) Good night (2582) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the stuff legends are made of

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  (847): Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate? (412): That's the stuff legends are made of http://tfl.nu/wudz
  Replies (12) Good night (1282) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.

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  (239): Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest. http://tfl.nu/uwa9
  Replies (10) Good night (1486) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information

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  (716): That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information http://tfl.nu/q7xv
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Happy birthday, you long dick monster

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  (541): Happy birthday, you long dick monster http://tfl.nu/0cme
  Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!

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  (517): When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?! http://tfl.nu/3qvz
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"

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  (828): I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?" http://tfl.nu/m95j
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me

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  (407): We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me http://tfl.nu/k2wx
  Replies (3) Good night (274) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.

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  (970): The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese. http://tfl.nu/ftp9
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does

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  (203): Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does http://tfl.nu/jmm7
  Replies (3) Good night (739) Bad night (242)

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