Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.

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(209): View more from California

I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.

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(516): View more from New York

If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(559): View more from California

Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.

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(323): View more from California

Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.

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(315): View more from New York

I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?

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