I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.