Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

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(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything. http://tfl.nu/pmpx

Replies (76) Good night (28251) Bad night (2011)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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(615): He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat. http://tfl.nu/bfbd

Replies (30) Good night (875) Bad night (4373)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks

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(252): I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks http://tfl.nu/dbvg

Replies (21) Good night (1201) Bad night (3489)
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(516): View more from New York

Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked

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(516): Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked http://tfl.nu/j7ko

Replies (3) Good night (3412) Bad night (908)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just saw the nastiest chick.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Where?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

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(603): I just saw the nastiest chick. (1-603): Where? (603): woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you http://tfl.nu/hbsk

Replies (43) Good night (1455) Bad night (8439)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"

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(757): Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT" http://tfl.nu/x7ms

Replies (22) Good night (14583) Bad night (1571)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.

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(202): Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke. http://tfl.nu/as75

Replies (8) Good night (1173) Bad night (4625)
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(305): View more from Florida

Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.

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(305): Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level. http://tfl.nu/s74q

Replies (5) Good night (3018) Bad night (984)
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(419): View more from Ohio

His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch

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(419): His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch http://tfl.nu/wbxj

Replies (13) Good night (4324) Bad night (1653)
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(208): View more from Idaho

My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with

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(208): My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with http://tfl.nu/1h68

Replies (5) Good night (1716) Bad night (766)
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(847): View more from Illinois

When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

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(847): When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody. http://tfl.nu/5cds

Replies (3) Good night (1884) Bad night (635)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

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(971): Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars? http://tfl.nu/yo90

Replies (8) Good night (1478) Bad night (835)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights

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(781): Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights http://tfl.nu/p5ea

Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (688)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like

(630): View more from Illinois

we should definitely drink gin again. soon.

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(773): I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like (630): we should definitely drink gin again. soon. http://tfl.nu/20ks

Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (361)
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(831): View more from California

So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great

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(831): So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great http://tfl.nu/lton

Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (835)

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