Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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