I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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