What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
