I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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