What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
