dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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