There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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