I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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