We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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