party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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