This girl is more easily done than said...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize