You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
