Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
this is an emotional support booty call
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize