I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
