I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The feeling are messing with the penis
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
