Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
