i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
