the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize